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Choosing Your Soulmate?

Self-love is the foundation of anything beautiful


The first step in developing a healthy relationship is learning to love yourself. If you love and accept yourself completely and feel fulfilled from within, only then will you be able to accept your partner with full integrity. You need to be fulfilled on your own. If you are ready, then look for someone who complements your personality. When you find a partner, who has the same values and beliefs as you and is ready to work towards similar goals, that’s when two become one. 


Respect each other’s individuality


To understand what qualities, you are searching for in your soulmate- list down the values you appreciate in your partner, list down the dreams you wish to share with your partner and consider the fact that whether you are open enough to accept each other’s perspective. Are you both comfortable to share your authentic self, your truth with each other? Do you communicate well- that is in a transparent way, because communication is the backbone of any relationship? Next important factor is do you respect each other’s individuality because otherwise one partner will feel dead in the relationship. 


Never violate your personal space


One of the major factors to consider, which people don’t talk much about but which ruins the relationship, is- Do you allow a third party to interfere in your personal bond of love, friendship, respect, understanding and trust. A soulmate connection does not mean intimacy on a physical level only; intimacy should be there mentally, emotionally and spiritually, too. Also remember, a third party can be anybody- friend, parents, siblings, anybody outside of this relationship. Your relationship is not strong enough when you need others to make it work for you, although people believe to take others help to make it strong but that should be done only when the two of you are unable to resolve your issues on your own and you need another person to save your marriage not otherwise, because otherwise involving a third person is not a dignified way of handling this soulful relationship. Although, there is nothing wrong to seek outside help during difficult times in order to save a precious relationship. Nonetheless, a soulmate relationship should have its own personal space where no third person can enter in. 


You can recognize, you are each other’s soulmates, when you can be your true self with each other, when you don’t need to hide from each other, when you can communicate about anything and everything with each other without the fear of judgment, when you don’t need a third person to interfere, in your relationship, when you both are strong enough to be transparent with each other, when you can truly understand and implement integrity at all levels in your relationship. 


Transparency builds and sustains a strong bond of trust between the two of you. No relationship can bloom beautifully without the trust factor. And trust is not a spontaneous effect of love, it takes time to earn it. So, make sure you give each other that kind of grace. Remember, sweet moments don’t build trust, it’s the hard things and time that reveals how much trustworthy a person truly is. So don’t fall for sweet promises, gestures, messages or other similar tokens of love and appreciation. Look deep. Some people are not good at showing love or appreciation but when it comes to the matters of trust and integrity, they will turn out to be the best partners. Things are not always as they appear and hence its advisable to discern correctly.


Build a bond of friendship


Soulmate union is basically a bond of friendship because only friendship is a relationship you choose on your own, the rest are given to you. Also, friendship means accepting each other for who we are without any judgment. Love cannot exist without friendship because otherwise it becomes burdensome for one partner and slowly the feelings of love die and the feelings of suffocation increases, which is unhealthy for the relationship. Friendship should be the foundation of your relationship. Never let external influences doubt your partners loyalty. Remember, healthy relationships are built on healthy habits and not based on any sort of malice, manipulation or sneaky stuff.


“Respect love and in turn love will respect you.”

It takes time


The phenomenon of two becoming one doesn’t happen overnight- it takes hard work from both sides. Remember, only having feelings won’t make your relationship successful, you need to put in the right efforts to make it smooth and successful. Give your relationship the time and space to bloom naturally. Avoid being overpowering and authoritative. Avoid dictating your partner terms on how to live and love. Let them make their own individual choices.


Understanding needs reflection and the confidence to accept each other just the way they are. Give your partnership the roots of strong foundation and the wings of liberation of being their true self. If you impose restrictions or try to make the process quick, or try to dictate terms, it can lead to one feeling suppressed or bound to perform to retain the relationship. This may appear not to be damaging in the present but it weakens the relationship in the long run. It makes one lose respect for the other. And if overboard it may lead to extra marital affairs.


It’s important to note that an unhealthy environment cannot birth healthy relationships. Honor the individual not just by words but by your actions too. Stand on the moral ground and live your virtues and experience the beauty as a result. Cheers to a beautiful new beginning 😊